So the title pretty much says it all. You know how certain iconic characters have their own theme songs? Indiana Jones had one, Darth Vader had one, I guess Malcolm Reynolds had one if we count the theme to Firefly. (If you don't know what I'm talking about or who these people are, why are you even reading my blog?)
Anyway, I have a new personal theme song. Nothing deep here, just appropriate. So don't get all douchy and rain on my song for not being "Art." My tastes are probably too simple to appreciate a work of art if it kicked me in the crotch.
Here's my current theme song:
I like it. It cheers me up just a bit when I hear it on the radio.
So, do you have a personal theme song? Or maybe one you used to have? If so, throw it up so everyone can make fun of. . .I mean, enjoy it too.
You know what I hate? I hate rude people. People who think only of themselves and who act like they're unique little snowflakes and that the rules that apply to the rest of us don't apply to them.
I like to think there's a special place in Hell for people who just park wherever they damn well please. You ever notice at the supermarket how some people just pull up to the curb, park and stroll right in, bold as brass? I always want to say, "Oh, hey! Are you famous! I'm so fucking starstruck! You must be really important! I always have to park in a. . .you know. . .a designated parking place. . ." (Please fill in the rest of the sarcasm-laden rant here).
I once mentioned this to some folks from out of state and they were surprised to hear this ever happens. Either they never go to the grocery or maybe other states actually ticket these assholes.
Anyway, a picture is worth a thousand words, and all that, so let's take a look at this month's winner:
Alright, it is hard to tell from this picture, but this Red Mercedes with Fayette County Kentucky tags was parked like this in front of the Kroger on Nicholasville road (near Michaels, etc.). You also can't really tell, thanks to my poor photography skills, but this thing is parked at quite an angle, with the rear substantially farther from the curb than the front. Now, I have seen worse locations for people to just stop a car and leave it, but this one combines the selection of a non-designated spot, with the added insolence of parking at such a devil-may-care angle.
Here's another view:
So if you ever see this red Mercedes, Kentucky license number 1450AW, please tell him (or her) that I said "Fuck you, asshole!"
So that's our Asshole of the Month for April 2012. The winner receives a swift kick in the crotch.*
*Winner must be present to receive prize. Prizes are non-transferable. Void where illegal. Some restrictions may apply. See dealer for details.
Have you ever had a memory that you just weren't sure about? Where the memory seems so separate from you, how can it possibly be *your* memory? A memory so crystal clear in the visual detail, suggestive of emotions you can no longer grasp, but real as rock? Where you doubt yourself? You ask, perhaps that was a dream? Perhaps this memory doesn't belong to me? If it was mine, is it wrong for me to *keep* it? Do you ever feel like a voyeur of your own life?
Ever have a memory as real as it is elusive? A memory like a square peg and no matter how many times your mind turns it over again and again and again, it never seems to fit? A memory that's as noteworthy for how it makes you feel as for how unreal it seems? Like you're seeing through alien eyes? Here's mine, called to mind by circumstance and unleashed of it's own will:
Sitting on a plane, left side, window seat (peering out at the concourse, of course. While the pretty lady explains how buckles work). Standoffish yellow lights outside. Large window where folks are warm inside. The Terminal. Watching. December--probably?
Outside I stare. Important people going places, some hand in hand. Twinkling lights unfurled for the season or some reason beyond recall. Where I'm not, hot-glowing tree is like a brand. Lazy-fat snowflakes fall. White blots fill the air.
And I feel. content. Happy. satisfied. Certain of the future. Me? Is this just the way: Snowblots; trees; brands; people; cold; lights; rolled-out; season. Makes one feel?
So the other day as I was driving home from work, I heard this song on the radio. I'd heard it before and I liked it in the sense that it is the type of song one can get in one's head for a few days.
But when I tried to listen to the lyrics, I found them darn near incomprehensible. I listened very closely. I made out, "better run, better run, faster than my [????]" I thought the word that belonged in the brackets was "Brother," turns out, it is "Bullet." (Had to Google it, of course--fortunately, my cell phone was able to tell me the name of the band and song). Yes, it is that hard to understand. In fact, the lyrics are kinda messed up. I guess it is about a kid who finds his dad's revolver (I guess they still make those), and seemingly wants to go on a killing spree. *sigh*
But the tune is so upbeat. :-(
Anyway, here it is if you're interested:
So, do you guys have any songs you like that are similarly difficult to understand? I know this sort of mumbling was practically the trademark of "Dead Can Dance." (Or am I thinking of a different group?)
BTW: I have no idea what the Hell a "pumped up kick" is, but, apparently, all the other kids have them. *confused*
I have no idea how this came up, but I was talking to one of the women with whom I work and we got on the subject of the type of footwear/shirt a guy "should" wear. First, I didn't realize there were any rules.* But just for sake of discussion, let's assume there are.
Under this. . .paradigm? Yeah, under this paradigm, I've been doing it wrong for years. Well, my whole life, it seems. She says that the only time it is "okay" to wear running shoes is if you are actually working out, or going to or from same. Well, this blew my mind. Although she has never seen me outside of work (where I always wear suits, a la Barney Stinson), I almost always wear running shoes, jeans and a T-shirt (and I add a longsleeve T-shirt when it is cold, and will forgo jeans in favor of cargo shorts/Utilikilts in the summer). My coworker says that she is embarrassed even to wear running shoes to the grocery store--where she has no problem wearing Yoga pants and a T-shirt. . .with freakin' flip-flops of all things.
-->Let me interject here that I have a powerful dislike of Flip-Flops. I hate the name, which--appropriately--rhymes with "slop"--and I think under most circumstances they evidence an absence of care for one's appearance. I think I mostly hate them because they strike me as the most impractical type of footwear ever invented. Flip-Flops are the D students of the footwear world. I submit that they *barely* even qualify as footwear. Anyway, I'll do an entire rant on them one day perhaps.
She believes that a guy "should" wear an Oxford type shirt (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxford_shirt) and brown "dress shoes" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dress_shoes) (I have to note the hilarity I perceive in the fact that this wikipedia page recognizes 7 "possible" colors for men's shoes. So. . .the other colors are *IM*possible? Interesting). So, even if I'm just hanging out with my friends, I "ought" to be wearing: an Oxford shirt, dress shoes and jeans. Interesting. (If this blog were a train, I'd sound the whistle a couple of times and yell out, "NEXT STOP: Fakeville" ("Sorry, ma'am, the train doesn't actually stop at 'Pretentious Heights,' but you can easily take a cab from Fakeville")
What this actually leads me to conclude is that I am more out of touch with Normals than I had previously believed or even suspected. I suppose this is how Normals see the world? So, although they think it is awesome when one wears a suit, they think my typical (non-work) appearance is sloppy? Do most of them really think there are particular things one "ought" to wear? Apparently a sweater ("jumper" for some of you) is also okay. I sometimes wear sweaters, but never with an Oxford Shirt, which is what I think she was presuming. I also think that unles your name is "Chandler Bing" you have no business wearing a sweater-vest.
Anyway, color me surprised. Apparently I'm something of a "way-too-casual" dresser. Why didn't anyone ever tell me? :-)
Anyway, that's a nice bit of frivolity for one day. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Agree/Disagree? Have anything to add?
[I just remembered, we were talking about some restaurants in town that (apparently) have dress codes which would preclude my ability to enter (absent advance warning).]
*Barring the obvious social mores when it comes to all things sartorial.
This year was the first Valentine's day in years in which I haven't given her anything, given our situation. "My son," however, got her a card in which "he" wrote "I love you, Mommy." "He" also got her a metal, heart-shaped box of chocolates. Today I found that Tin Heart empty and in the trash.
So...just so we're clear, while I know several folks who haven't visited yet, if any of you have, it wasn't my intention that this place should be a soapbox, monologue sort of deal. I had a pretty profound discussion with a couple of you folks yesterday and I thought it was pretty refreshing. Feel free to bring that same sort of thing around here. I know some of these topics may not interest you at all, and some of them are just plain depressing, but if you have *anything* even marginally noteworthy to add, please feel free.
On the other hand, if I simply have yet to discuss anything of interest to you, that's cool. Stick around. Even a monkey with a typewriter supposedly has a good day on occasion.
Kelvar
P.S. Thanks and Kudos to Sylvia for being the first to follow this. I have some questions about your most recent post on your own blog with my favorite frog pirate.
P.P.S. Is there any way to set this thing up so that "fully justified" is the default setting? It seems like every time I post I have to edit so that I can clean that shit up. Failure to fully justify one's margins signals to me that you simply don't care. Of course, that's just my opinion and personal pet peeve.
